What Lies Beneath: Gay Escorting

We live in the 21^st century. Traditional attitudes to sex went out the window in the 60s – and surely things have only got less conservative since then? Porn, and escorting are no longer careers that people discuss in whispers. But is it more acceptable for gay men to work in these types of profession than anyone else? It certainly feels as if it’s more common. After all, we all know at least one homo that’s stroked his chipolata on Blake Mason or some other equally tragic amateur porn site. Not sure I can say the same for my straight friends.

Would we be as shocked – if at all – to hear that a gay man is escorting or starring in porn, as we would a heterosexual person? Probably not, but why? Maybe it’s just become so commonplace that nobody is really surprised, after all gay men have a reputation for being promiscuous, so why would anyone be shocked that they are part of the sex industry? Maybe it’s because homosexuality is considered more liberal, and therefore sex is just less of a taboo.

Does anyone even bat an eyelid when the office’s token queen minces in, looking like a heap of shit, confessing he’s been up shagging for two days at a sex party? Not sure we can say the same for Helen from HR.

Gay society seems to be much more sexually-driven; saunas, orgies, fetish nights, sex clubs and dark rooms are often considered as normal as the cloak check. To many gay men, finger-blasting a WKD-soaked chick in Tiger Tiger is just as horrific as heterosexuals find a frisky chill out.

Countless studies have shown that men in general have stronger, and more straight-forward sex drives than women. (Basically, men don’t require scented candles and emotion to get in the mood). Which suggests a valid reason as to why there’s more participants. As gay men watch more porn, there’s most likely a higher demand for male porn stars.

MTV’s Real Life shows that even ‘straight’ men are cashing in on it. And it must pay well, why else would Brad be engaging in gay-4-pay, while Tiffany breast-feeds their rugrat? (Unless he’s using it as an excuse to get a little male slap and tickle on the side). So, there’s demand. But that doesn’t explain why.

Of course, money plays a factor. I mean, they must be earning alright dough because how else would they all afford drug habits?

But perhaps it’s just easier for gay men to fall into. Not like, whoops I slipped on a banana skin and landed on the brothel payroll. But it’s a known fact that many of the people who work in the sex trade – gay or straight – have had turbulent upbringings. And as growing up gay already goes against the social norm, it would make sense that self-esteem issues, among other things, play a role in how we see ourselves. Maybe gay men just don’t value themselves as much as they should. Yes, it’s that infamous validation that gays seek so much more than straight people.

Though maybe at this stage it’s important to make the distinction between porn stars and escorts. There’s a joke that goes, “if you have sex for money, you’re a whore. But if there’s a camera present, then it’s acting”. Which highlights how porn is more widely accepted than prostitution, but why? Escorts are engaging in this activity in privacy, while porn is slapped on the World Wide Web for pretty much anyone to see.

Does porn carry less shame and stigma because the people you’re penetrating are likely to be better looking? Considering the number of porn actors that believe they are superior to the rest of the world who don’t open their legs when they see dollar signs, it would appear so.

I believe that a majority of escorts only do it for the money. Why else would you let an elderly man wearing marigolds tickle you with a feather before he prematurely ejaculated and profusely apologised? No need to say sorry old-timer, that’s the easiest hundred quid anyone’s ever earnt! (And the stories of straight escorts are just as entertaining).

Plenty of porn stars, on the other hand, would argue that they enjoy it. Maybe they do. They are of course grown adults that are fully capable of going out and getting a regular job. Perhaps they’re just more confident and care-free with their bodies? Although the dark underbelly of the industry that circulates around deaths, drug abuse, and daddy issues would suggest something much more psychological.

So perhaps there is only less surprise to hear of gay people in the sex business, because they’re more open (legged) about it. But the reality is, the job is no different – from homosexual or heterosexual men in the industry – the stories are just as jaw-dropping.