doors of london
The ennui of lockdown was personified in walking,
We circled round our houses, thinking but not talking,
We trampled over pavements, we tripped up cobble stones,
We craved communication beyond our mobile phones.
Trudging through the city, no person, dog or ghost,
Yet inside the walls are bodies, warm and eating toast.
Staring at the doors of London on our daily wander,
We couldn’t help but think about who possibly lives yonder…
Guaranteed to have at least three Union Jack items of decor – bought from vintage markets of course – and when you visit you’ll spend the evening doing Very Cool British Activities like smoking inside, listening to The Clash on vinyl and leaving spoons in the sink.
Pharaoh (of East London). Healer (of vibrational & generational trauma). All-Seeing Eye (when they’re not high).
In order to have a Very Classic Front Door, they must have Very Classic Hobbies. These may consist of learning a fourth language, perfecting piano duets or opening bottles of claret to let them breathe.
Baths are rare in London, but these gentlepeople have one in every suite and they are referred to as ‘the little boys room’ and ‘the little girls room’ to be ironic. Each ‘little’ room is the size of a student flat and fitted with Italian marble… the same country their most recent au pair was imported from, but since she has been doing so much yoga in lockdown, she might be getting a little too fit to keep.
The sound of an acoustic guitar is the only sound to be heard from the upstairs flat, which is as outrageously priced as Urban Outfitters. And just like Urban Outfitters these apartments trade on their trendiness but will literally fall apart after one rowdy party.
No one really ‘cooks’, yet all claim to be foodies based on a collective enjoyment of ramen. Here for the experience, the stories and the Yucca plants.
Expect this colour scheme to be a running theme throughout the house, which is stocked with the entire catalogue of The White Company. Clean Cotton, Warm Blanket, Baby Powder (but no baby), A Calm and Quiet Place: all names of scented candles to be found perched formally atop fireplaces. Yet lace curtains on the ground floor reveal a possible saucy side.